There are lots of reasons that I can give as to why this blog isn’t going as well as I hoped. But I’m just going to give you a couple of them and tell you how I am going to address them. I’m doing this because I sincerely want to do a better job of keeping myself and other people updated on how things are going on and I’ve done a poor job of that. This is so because:
1) I’m going through some personal stuff. I’m a bit torn about writing about this because it sounds like a lame excuse. But at the same time, to not write about it would be dishonest. I’m having a lot of trouble being motivated these days. I haven’t met with my advisor all quarter and I’ve written very little. There are some days when I literally just stare at my computer screen unable to get myself to type a word. Am I having a breakdown? Maybe. But I’ve heard from several people that this is a normal part of the dissertation writing process. But like I said, I’m going through some personal stuff that is unrelated to my dissertation that has distracted me quite a bit. I’m working on getting a handle on these issues, and I’ve had some degree of success in the past few weeks, but I still am not where I want to be from a personal standpoint. Again, to stress, I don’t want to make excuses, because I fully accept responsibility for not making the kind of progress that I would have like to have made this quarter, but if this is to serve as a journal that details the kinds of issues that affect one’s personal research, well, this is an issue that has contributed much to the current state of affairs. On the plus side, I haven’t had a smoke in over a month.
2) I actually take this blog too seriously. Whenever I write something for this blog, I want to provide informative links and neat-o references and new documents that I have produced. Any blogger knows that this is actually a pain in the ass and can sometimes take up quite a bit of time. And because of my general anxiety about finishing my work, I avoid blogging regularly. I know, it’s a vicious cycle, one that I’m determined to break. So what I think I’m going to do is announce publicly, that I’m going to dedicate Monday mornings, from 10AM to 11AM to writing an entry. Even if the entry is as short as “I didn’t do a damn thing this week” I’m going to do it. I’m not going to make any effort to put stuff in like external links and references. I’m just going to write dammit. Maybe I can shame myself into working harder on this thing.
OK, I feel better now that I’ve gotten this off my chest. Hopefully, this is the start of the real work of my dissertation. OK, now I’m going to write a post about the interviews I’ve done over the last two weeks.
1 Comment posted on "Getting Personal"
Pizza Cutter on March 28th, 2008 at 12:06 am #
Bob, it sounds like you might have some symptoms of depression. Obviously, I don’t know the whole story, but that might be something to look into.